Women

“Defined by no man, you are your own story, blazing through the world, turning history into Herstory. And when they dare to tell you about all the things you cannot be, you smile and tell them: I am both war and Woman and you cannot stop me.” Nikita Gill

When I read this I think at all I have lived until now and how proud I am to be a Woman and when people ask me how it is that I am so confident and sure of myself, memories kick in like a tornado. It’s unbelievable how many different women lay within ourselves, some of them embraced, some undiscovered, some kept there safe in a corner of the soul… It hasn’t been easy… and surely hasn’t become easier with time, especially because in my case,  I have a very strong personality, I’m stubborn as f*** and… temper? I have a lot of that. 

I was five when my parents sent me to buy potatoes, and I had a coin of 1 leu and 50 bani (probably, I don’t remember that well) and I should have received 25 bani change, but the lady at the shop didn’t give it back to me, so I looked at her from the other side of a table full of potatoes and I told her: “My father is a policeman. If you don’t give me my change, he will come here and shoot you.” :))))) I remember that particularly well, I don’t know why… but I still laugh.

As a friend, although I am very social and extroverted, I am very careful with whom I let into my personal space. Time not only showed me the true face of people, it also taught me that quality is always better than quantity. And I apply this in everything that surrounds me. I was hurt many times and I have made mistakes believing that having people’s approval is a must, that in order to be happy it is absolutely necessary to be surrounded by people. F*** it is amazing when you realise that being your authentic self is the real deal. I learned to be happy with my loneliness and appreciative to the people that stayed and loved me for who I am and how I am. Those who love your craziness and with whom you can freely talk about everything with no trace of judgement. Those that no matter how far you find yourself in need, you know that you are there for each other.

I am the kind of friend that triggers you to be your best, and can sometimes be rough when I say things, but I expect the same from the people that surround me. Because I love to be the catalyst of change in people’s lives. This trait has haunted me, as when I failed to make others see their worth it frustrated me. Very late I understood that some people don’t WANT to change and we must accept them for who they are and how they are. 

I also struggled in my personal life; there were rough lessons when I loved from the bottom of my heart but had to detach myself and let go of what might have been, because again I had to learn to put myself first. But I was never sorry… you know why?

When life takes from you something, it is because you're meant for better things, for someone else, and the more you stay and lay in that lethargy of denial trying to fix things, the more you deviate from your true path. I learned this in my  20’ for the first time and because I love pain I have experienced it in the years ahead. But that pain I thought at the moment was unbearable, gave me the most precious gifts of my life: my family, two little mini me’s that brighten my days and make me see life at its best. 

I always post on my feed about pre workouts and boosters but I realise what all parents know: that the true fuel that makes us go out there and conquer the world is love for our children… those with and those without a tail.When I became a mother, it was …pffff so surprising! I still remember that I looked in my babies’ eyes and I couldn’t believe they were mine. I made those little creatures, and from that moment onwards, I realised that everything I was about to do in life would have an effect on their development. They are little humans now… with enormous personalities (maybe I have prayed too much :))) and the biggest compliment I receive is that they are so well raised.

Don’t get me wrong… this bothers me sometimes, as I can tell from a person's expressions that they are surprised to see this from a woman “like me”, but I can also appreciate it. People in my environment feel confused, from one angle they see a very controversial, highly provocative, sensual woman, and from the other side: a mother! Even, my kindness and easy going personality makes people believe many things… to be honest I don’t give a f***! When you become a mother people think that you have to fit in a sort of category but the truth is that we don’t die, we are more alive than ever because we are fulfilled. We are Women in the true sense of the word. We don’t cease to feel sexy, powerful, sensual. I mean why? 

So I wake up every morning, do my gym routine to make myself even more beautiful and I go out there and spread my light and I tell my chipmunks that they are the best in the world!!!! I teach my kids everyday to never be judgmental, to embrace diversity, to be creative and kind, because there will come a moment in their life when they will turn and tell us that they want to go on their path. And that’s the most difficult thing to do. To accept that we gave birth, we raised them but they belong to the world, they are not our property. And if we don’t give them strong values but  raise them closed minded people only because we are afraid to face our own frustrations and delusions they will become individuals unsure of their path, selfish and ignorant. 

On another note, one of the questions I am most frequently asked is if I am a dominant woman, and I do want to dedicate an entire post on this topic but… let me tell you something! Imagine a boat in the middle of the sea... I feel like that sometimes. When you strive to make a difference in the world, when you’re floating against the currents hoping that you’ll make it to the other side safely. And for me dominance is the way of being. Going against the odds, embracing life and making the best of it…. fun as f*** and possibly arriving at the destination wearing a pair of SoKate red patent heels and a bikini :)

And when it comes to private life... I value a relationship where there is equality, support and unconditional love. Believe me when there’s chemistry with the person you love you can even be Mao. In theory it sounds amazing, I know that too, but personally I tend to take the lead and I often find myself in conflicts because of the temper I have. Add that dominant native trait and a bit of stubbornness and you have it all. 

Women…we make You ;-) …excuse me, the World, a better place.